When the Game Goes Sideways: A Simple Gratitude Reset for Athletes (and Their Parents)

In sports—and in life—things don’t always go according to plan.

Maybe it’s a missed shot.
Maybe your athlete is benched for longer than expected.
Maybe the team just couldn’t pull it together, and the loss hits hard.

Whether you're the one competing or watching from the stands, emotions can run high after a tough game. And in those moments, the most natural reaction is often criticism—of the refs, the team, ourselves, even our kids.

But here’s something I’ve learned over years as a mindset coach:

Criticism doesn’t help athletes recover. Gratitude does.

Gratitude Isn’t Fluff—It’s a Mental Performance Tool

Gratitude gets a bad rap. Too often, it’s treated like a warm-and-fuzzy concept reserved for journaling or holidays. But in reality? It’s one of the fastest, most effective ways to re-center after a setback. 

Gratitude works because it trains the brain to shift from threat mode to perspective mode. It redirects attention away from what went wrong and refocuses on what’s still going right.

And that matters—because what you focus on fuels your next move.

When we help athletes build this reflex early, they learn to bounce back quicker. They stop letting one bad play turn into a bad game… or a bad week.

A 3-Step Gratitude Reset for Athletes and Parents

Here’s a simple routine I teach athletes and their families to use after a tough game—or even a tough moment during one:

1. Name one thing that went well.
   No matter how small. A smart pass. A moment of sportsmanship. The effort to get up after a fall. It all counts.
2. Say thank you.
   To a teammate, coach, parent, or even themselves. Gratitude reminds us that we’re part of something bigger—and that we’re not alone in the tough stuff.
3. Take a breath and say:
   “This moment isn’t the whole story.”
   Because it isn’t. A bad game doesn’t define an athlete. What they do next does.

Why This Works

This practice isn’t about ignoring frustration or pretending everything is fine. It’s about giving athletes (and parents) the tools to stay grounded in the moments that feel chaotic.

It’s about helping young athletes remember that a single game—good or bad—is just one part of the bigger picture.

And it’s about creating a culture where self-compassion, resilience, and perspective are just as valued as effort and grit.

Try It, Share It, Model It

If you’re a parent, coach, or teammate—try this reset together. Use it in the car ride home. Use it after a practice that just felt off. Use it when your athlete is hard on themselves and can’t see the bigger picture.

And if it helps, share it. Pass it along to another family, another team, another athlete who needs a reminder that they’re more than one game.

Let’s raise a generation of athletes who know how to regroup with grace—and who know that even in disappointment, there’s something to be thankful for.