What Most Athletes Wish Adults Knew

When an athlete struggles—misses a shot, gets benched, or loses a big game—the instinct for many parents and coaches is to jump in with feedback. Correction. Motivation. A silver lining.

But often, that’s not what young athletes need in those moments.

It’s Not Always About “Trying Harder”

Athletes are some of the most self-aware people on the planet. They know when they’ve had a bad game. They’re replaying the mistakes before they even hit the locker room. What they need most in those raw, post-performance moments isn’t critique—it’s space.

Space to breathe.
Space to feel disappointed.
Space to recover without a lecture.

What They’re Really Saying

Over the years, I’ve heard so many athletes say things that echo the same core message:

• “I just needed someone to sit with me—not fix it.”
• “I already knew I messed up—I didn’t need to be reminded.”
• “I wish they believed in me as much as they criticized me.”
  

These aren’t athletes who lack drive or grit. These are young people learning to navigate pressure, failure, and identity in a high-stakes environment. And like anyone else, they need support—not performance reviews—when they’re at their lowest.

Before You Speak, Pause

When a game doesn’t go their way and emotions are high, adults often react from a place of discomfort. Silence can feel awkward. We rush to fill it with advice, reminders, or reframes.

But here’s a simple reflection that can change everything:

Am I responding to their need—or trying to relieve my own discomfort?

Sometimes the best support is presence. Sitting beside them in the quiet. Letting them feel what they feel. Trusting that with time—and your steady belief in them—they’ll find their way back stronger.

Because Support Is a Skill, Too

Just like confidence and resilience, learning how to support an athlete well is something we can train. It starts with listening. It grows through reflection. And it makes all the difference—especially during tough seasons.

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