The Mental Performance Corner: Ditch Expectations: Focus on Process Goals

Happy New Year! 

Let’s talk New Year's GOALS. 

There’s a lot of pressure on 2021. High expectations to be better than 2020 was.

The thing is, the second the clock turned 12:00am, there was no magical shift… Things aren’t going to miraculously just BE better. You still have to put in the work. You are responsible for making things happen. For maintaining a positive outlook. For creating goals and actively working towards achieving them.

And as you do, things will come up. Roadblocks will appear. You will have to pivot. It is important to remember that you can only control how you prepare and how you choose to react in any given situation.

Managing your expectations is a huge part of this. Especially after the year we all had. In fact, I vote we get rid of expectations all together and focus on being in the moment and setting process goals - things that are within our control. We cannot just expect things to get better, for things to change, and so on. We have to take action and focus on what’s within our control, and simply having an expectation of something, does not.

Letting go of expectations involves a lot of work. Here are some key elements I focus on with my athletes:

Self awareness - recognizing and understanding the emotions that you’re experiencing throughout the day, without judgement or guilt. Observing the expectations you’ve created in your life, you can better understand the underlying beliefs and reasons behind them, which helps you become more cognizant about how realistic they are, and what you are really trying to achieve.

Acceptance - experiencing life just the way it is. It’s natural to accept positive experiences/emotions and resent negative ones. In most situations, you have two options to choose from: you can either accept what’s happening or resist it/fight against it. You can never be in complete control of what happens to you. You can only control how you choose to respond to each situation.

Gratitude - taking time to notice and reflect on things that occur that you’re thankful for empowers you to look for positive outcomes in any situation. Choosing to look at a problem from an angle of potential opportunity can help minimize the feelings of resentment and disappointment.

Mindfulness - being in the present moment takes away from the expectation, (which kills confidence). Have your athlete try repeating this mantra “Be here, now.” 

When it comes to actually setting goals, it is important to work backwards. Identify what your BIG goal(s) is/are (long term goals) and then create shorter term goals (intermediate and short term goals) that will lead you there. Once you have your road map created, you MUST come up with a concrete action plan to achieve your short term goals. If you don’t have the action steps, your goal will remain a wish. 

Try doing all of these things together as a family. It’s a fun way to stay actively involved with each other. And it also offers a window for parents into what your athlete is working towards and perhaps how you can support them along the way. Not sure where to start with this? I just launched my newest joint program for parents and athletes that focuses on bridging this gap. Ask me about it! 

I will leave you with this.. 

“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than how you think it should be.” 

-Wayne Dyer

Want more info on the goal setting work I do with athletes, or my joint parent/athlete program? Please reach out! You can reach me at [email protected] or [email protected]. You can also follow me on IG at Danielle_PeakPerformance or on FB under Peak Performance Training. Or just simply check out my website: www.ocppt.com. 

Cheers to a happy and productive 2021!