For the Love of the Sport

If you play hockey, then upon meeting a new friend, you would likely tell that new friend “I am a hockey player.” Seems pretty simple right? Athletes identify themselves as athletes. But if you’re not careful, they can also become their sport. And when it comes time for that sport to end…depression, anxiety and a feeling of not knowing who they are anymore comes around. Yikes! 

When your identity becomes so wrapped up in your sport, it can be hard to separate who you are as a person outside of who you are as an athlete. I know this because.. This happened to me.

We used to see this with college and olympic athletes, who have been specialized in their sport since high school, really struggling to figure out who they are in their 20s and 30s. But as time has gone by, and the FUN of sports has diminished to the point where 7 and 8 year olds feel like their sport is a JOB, we are now seeing that loss of identity in high schoolers who have been specialized for 9-10 years in their sport.

The problem with this is that these teenagers are now dealing with stress, depression and anxiety because they no longer know who they are. At 16, 17, 18 years old. So what do we do about it?

The reason I stress taking breaks, and finding the JOY in sports, is because athletes need to know what they love about their sport, but also who they are outside of it.

Being an athlete is only ONE part of who you are, it is not the whole part. I close my book with an entire chapter on Identity because I see the groundwork being laid now in youth sports to where this is going to continue being a huge issue for these youth athletes, and it’s about time we do something abt it.

Taking breaks, finding hobbies, playing multiple sports, spending time with friends…these things are SO important to ensuring that our athletes stay happy, and loving their sport, but also to ensure their identity isn’t too tripped up in what sport they play.

Finding the LOVE and JOY for the sport, is one way to keep fun at the center of it all. Keeping sports fun, keeps it from feeling like a job to these young athletes. So I want to walk you through an exercise that I have in my book, The Empowered Athlete, called the “Why I play” exercise.

So here’s how it works…

Write down a list of 5-10 reasons why you love your sport, or why you love playing it.

After you write these down, then answer the following:

🤔How did this exercise make you feel?

🤔Was it uncomfortable?

🤔Did you have a hard time coming up with things? If so, why do you think that is?

Next you want to dive in and understand whether these reasons are more external (friends, family, teammates) or more internal?

Some athletes are going to find this exercise hard, and others may find it easy. But the thing is, not every day will you feel motivated. The key is to know WHY you love your sport, and that will keep you going during the hard times. (HINT: dig deep with this. The more internal and processed focused your ‘loves’ are, the more power they will have = the easier it will be to get back on track).

I share a story in my book about my own hard times, and how much I needed to lean into that love when I was a Freshman, feeling homesick and away from my family. If athletes don’t LOVE their sport, or lose that love along the way, it will make those hard times that much harder.

My book is filled with exercises to help athletes build mental toughness. These exercises are designed to help them build self-confidence, self-acceptance and self-worth, and they are so helpful in that process. If you want to grab a copy for yourself, or your athlete, you can find it here on Amazon: Link.