The Mental Performance Corner: Sports Identity in Student-Athletes

When you’ve played one sport your whole life, and you retire, what happens? As athletes grow up and start to burn out or retire after having focused solely on that sport for years, if not decades even, they are bound to struggle with their identity.

When you’re known as the “GOAT” or even when your whole world revolves around practice, games, coaches, friends from your team – who are you outside of that? We’ve seen countless stories over the last few years of athletes struggling to come to terms with that question as they enter into retirement. They’ve spent their lives living this extremely structured lifestyle that has focused so intensely on their singular sport, that they didn’t have a lot of time for other interests or activities.

With kids especially, as we discussed in our earlier blog (link here), they are specializing at such a young age and training year round in that sport, that they become so wrapped up in who they are as an athlete, they don’t spend the time developing who they are outside of that sport. A swimmer who trains year round, like Michael Phelps, is in the pool every single day of the year for hours at a time. “I went 5 or 6 years straight, 365 days a year.” Like Michael Phelps, kids with big goals are training like this at a young age, preventing them from trying other sports, or exploring other interests. Training so hard really doesn’t leave a lot of time on the calendar for other activities that help build an identity outside of just that sport.

What we see overtime is that if kids aren’t given the opportunity to develop their own identities, separate from their sport, they inevitably lose sight of who they are. And when it comes time to quit, or retire, you see them often left with a feeling of “what else do I know?” “What do I like to do outside of my sport?” “Who am I if I am not a swimmer, or hockey player, or gymnast?”

When you spend so much of your youth training so hard, friends and extracurricular activities are often put aside and their importance is diminished by the singular focus on that sport. You put pressure on yourself to be great, or meet unrealistic goals. And other’s, like coaches or parents, begin to put unrealistic expectations on you as well. If that sport is all you have, and you’re so singularly focused, then these types of identity asking questions are bound to happen.

The good news is, something can be done to prevent this type of issue. In my work with athletes, we train on a lot of techniques and coping strategies to ensure they are mentally in a strong, safe place. Prioritizing their mental health allows them to not only deliver at game time, but it also prevents them from getting into an unhealthy relationship and mindset with their sport. The key is in the action.

By managing this type of identity issue early, we can help athletes avoid depression and anxiety when they inevitably retire, quit, or move on. How do we do this? It starts at home. Having conversations about mental health with kids is crucial to allowing them the space to air their emotions without judgment. Parents have the ability to teach their kids that their emotions are valid and important, and parents can be that safe space to talk through them regularly. By setting the stage early on, parents can continue the conversation as their kids grow into a more competitive space. This is incredibly crucial to kids' ability to have self-awareness, and to develop healthy mindsets around sports.

Additionally, a strong mental health training, alongside sports training is game changing as kids develop and prepare for higher levels of competition. We’re seeing more and more professional organizations, and youth competitive teams take the action to help their athletes train mentally. I love working with student-athletes through my group programs, and seeing how they evolve their mindset over our sessions into a more healthy space. 

One of the key tools we use in our training is what I like to call the “Dump and Change.” How it works: 

• Before a big game, have your child write out all their unfiltered thoughts. 
• No structure, just a pen and paper and have them write down everything that comes to mind: fears, concerns, goals, past failures, etc. 
• This gives their feelings some tangible weight, but also gives them a chance to check themselves.
• After they’ve completed the brain dump, have them read over what they wrote and identify what is fact, and what is fiction (most of it will be assumptions based off of fear – identifying that on their own provides a huge release). 
• From here, if necessary, they can identify what their worst possible case scenario might be and then ask themselves, “can I live with that?” “Ultimately, is it THAT big of a deal?”
• Once they have identified that they can in fact live through their worst case scenario, the pressure and worry subsides. 
• The act of writing their feelings out can often give those feelings less weight and importance internally as well.

Allowing kids to develop a strong identity OUTSIDE of sports is crucial as they develop into athletes. Giving your child opportunities to play other sports, to develop other interests and hobbies, to even develop friendships outside their teams will set them up for long-term success in their sports careers, but also in their personal lives. Giving them space to share their feelings with you, plus teaching them coping mechanisms as they develop into more competitive athletes will help them develop and maintain healthy habits and healthy mindsets. Being aware of the importance of these mental health issues, and the potential impacts if this is not managed early on, is half the battle.

Visit ocppt.com to learn more about our programs and how they can help your athlete.